Too Young To Die

I met TJ when I was waiting for the elevator after office a few days ago, and he was holding this DVD. “What’s that, J?”. He said, “ If you wanna watch old people ‘suck’ each other, you should bring this DVD home”, he laughed then he handed it to me. On the cover, there were two old people naked and covered with blanket. And at the back, there was one picture of them kissing. The title was Too Young To Die.

It’s a story about a man (Park Chi-gyu) and a woman (Lee Soon-ye) in their early seventies, who met each other and fall in love. It’s a true story in Korea and the couple play as themselves. As you can see at the cover, what makes this film a controversy is because it really shows some sex scenes as the result of people fall in love. This film was banned from released in public theaters in Korea, though before it was being selected to screen at the 2002 Cannes Film Festival and received some very positive reviews. Finally it can be released after the film’s production agreed to darken the lighting on several scenes.

According to the director Park Jin-pyo (this film was his debut), many people think sex is something definitely the opposite of the term “the elderly”. So watching this film could be like a shock of cold water. Jin-pyo was just trying to say that age shouldn’t be a barrier in sex, in romanticism nor in showing the expression of love. And the reason he wanted to show their sexuality on screen was because they were so much in love. “I thought it was necessary to show sex scenes, to show they are fully alive”, he said.

Indeed this film lead me to think about the elderly’s sex life, realizing that I am so enjoying my young life which of course sex is included and at the same time realizing that I am not gonna stay in this age forever. I need facts and here are what I found :

1. The sex ratio drops steadily with age

We’ve heard about it, of course. Here’s the number :

For those of you who begin to worry, there was another survey of married men and women that showed 87% of married men and 89% of married women in the 60-64 age range are sexually active. The numbers drop with enhancing years but 29% of men and 25% of women over 80 are still sexually active.

2. The changing bodies

At that age, it will be too much if you’re still expecting sex to be as smooth as those are in your younger life, cause for sure, the body changes.

Women’s :

- The lips of the vagina (the labia) and the tissue covering the pubic bone lose some of their firmness.
- The walls of the vagina become less elastic.
- The vagina itself becomes drier.
- The clitoris can become highly sensitive, even too sensitive.
- Uterine contractions with orgasm may at times be painful.

Men’s :

- The entire male sexual response tends to slow down in the following ways:
- There is a delay in erection.
- There is a need for more manual stimulation to achieve an erection.
- The “plateau” phase, or period between erection and ejaculation, is prolonged.
- Orgasm is shorter and less forceful.
- The penis loses its firmness rapidly after ejaculation.
- The “refractory period”, or time interval before erection is able to be achieved again, can be quite long, even up to a week in very elderly men.

For those reasons, adaptations are needed.

For women :
Women should make adequate lubrication part of the routine, to avoid irritation of the vagina or painful intercourse.

For men :
Men should be patient in achieving an erection. For those men with heart disease, they may be particularly concerned about whether sex will put too much strain on their heart. For the most part, sexual activity may be resumed within about two to four weeks after a heart attack. If a man can climb two flights of stairs without chest pain or shortness of breath, he should be able to engage in sexual activity without concern, as this is more vigorous exercise than having sex.

3. Positions to try

- The “spoon position”, in which both partners lie on their sides, the woman with her back to the man, is great for intimacy with or without intercourse.
- The woman on her back and the man at a right angle to her on his side.
- The person with less strength or endurance on her/his back, with the stronger partner kneeling above.

Finally, if you’re feeling gross reading this up to now, don’t worry, me too hehe.. in fact, that’s natural. I read it in SatireWire.com that the elderly sex studies put young people off sex. This fact found when young interviewers who collected information in the study haven't been able to have sex for weeks. The condition made explainable with the release of a sample interview transcript.

Interviewer: OK, you're 78 and still have sex. That's all I need.

Respondent: Let me tell you, it's not always easy.

Interviewer: I'm sure it's not. Well, goodbye...

Respondent: Like when the arthritis flares up...

Interviewer: Oh... my, look, that's enough.

Respondent: Or if the wife's colostomy bag...

Interviewer: Please, no.

Respondent: ...gets tangled with my heart monitor...

Interviewer: Eeeeeeooo...

Respondent: I remember this one time, when we had left the curtains open ... hello? ...

Conclusion :

It’s Ramadhan. Though it’s only a week now, I know some of you have already missed the idea of having sex. But let’s try to respect the period.
If you’re feeling in lust, simply read this post, hope it’ll help :D

Sources :
http://www.koreanfilm.org/, http://www.globalaging.org/, http://www.satirewire.com/.